“It is a universal tendency in the Christian religion, as in many other religions, to give a theological interpretation to institutions which have developed gradually through a period of time for the sake of practice usefulness, and them read that interpretation back into the earliest periods and infancy of these institutions, attaching them to an age when in fact nobody imagined they had such a meaning.” – Richard Hanson

Today, I was flipping through Pagan Christianity? (again), and I came across this quote that made a TON of sense and demonstrates one of the reasons I am a partial-preterist.

All too often, we Christians come up with some of the craziest explanations for things the Bible says. One thing to be considered is that the Bible is not a science book, nor was it written to us. It was written to a specific people who understood (or should have) most, if not all, of the parallels, the metaphors and the symbolism that were culturally unique to them.

But we can’t help it. We try to twist scripture in any way possible in order for it to fit our worldview. Rarely do we step back and analyze what the heck we’re saying or doing with scripture. We’re all guilty of it.

Two examples are as follows. I’ve read several blogs and other websites that try to make it look as though Jesus drank beer. Yes, wine is mentioned in the Bible, but not beer. One thing we must understand is that water wasn’t filtered then like it is today, so relying on some grape juice or fermented grape juice was almost a must. However, saying that Jesus drank beer is a long shot. It’s called grasping for straws in order to give ourselves an out for a guilty pleasure we have. I’ve even seen websites that use actual scripture to prove that Jesus smoked marijuana. Given the kind of hermeneutics that go with rationalizing away Jesus and his supposed love of the juice, it’s not surprising.

If I can envision Jesus doing it, by golly, it means I can do it! </sarcasm> Jesus fastened a scourge and drove people out of the temple, but he knew their hearts. We don’t. We may see their fruit, but not their hearts.

Second has to be the full-blown futurist viewpoint of Bible prophecy. This has to be one of the biggest jokes in all of Christendom. For hundreds of years, people have been trying to predict when Jesus would come back, when Armageddon will start, and what and who the anti-Christ will be. What’s even more disheartening is the influx of scam artists like Hal Lindsey and Tim Lahaye that write book after book (and make error after error) about when the end will come and which events are propelling Christ’s return. Worst of all, they do exactly what the aforementioned quote accuses so many Christians of doing – “read that interpretation back into the earliest periods and infancy of these institutions, attaching them to an age when in fact nobody imagined they had such a meaning.”

For example, here is a post in support of many of the erroneous claims made by Hal Lindsey:

“As christ followers I beleive we need not only get ready for his coming but also be a watchman and be on guard and watch for signs.

-Locust = Helicopter
-Mountain falling from sky = Asteroid
-Dust of the Earth = elements of the earth (c,h,o,fe,na,ca…)
-Fallen angels = so called ufo who also were created millions ago and are the fallen ones
-Zacharia 1 four horns and craftsmen = Patriot Missile

Bible is full of beautiful symbols, parables, and wisdom.”

Yes, the Bible is full of those things, but it isn’t a science fiction novel. Look at the grasping at straws to correlate a helicopter to a locust and fallen angels being UFOs. I used to be intrigued by these parallels when I was younger, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve put two and two together and have come to a more rational, logical and hopefully Biblical conclusion.

With Christians, the possibilities are endless.